


ready to be found

by AlaskaStonem



Category: Violet Evergarden (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-06-13 17:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15369516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlaskaStonem/pseuds/AlaskaStonem
Summary: “Why have you lied to her? How could you do that? After everything that she had to life through!  She followed orders all her life, always does, what people ask of her. Always controlled by people like you! People,who make decisions about her, without asking her or even inform her about it!” Cattleya threw her fists at the table, cleary outraged. He could understand her. He was feeling the same, asking himself the same questions. He straightened his back and opened his mouth. But what should he say?What if Violets letter got to its acutual recipient?





	1. The Response

**Author's Note:**

> I found the lack of "Violet Evergarden" fanfictions disturbing. So disturbing, that I sat down and started my fist fanfiction.  
> rated m for some sexy times in the future

_I want her to be happy._  
Hodgins looked at Violet,who was looking absently into the sky. Hundreds of letters were falling down, letters of love,grief,happiness-the deepest emotions. She wondered where her letter might be. She imagined her letter flying far away, landing in a field of violets,safe and peaceful. Little did she know,that her letter was still in the inner pocket of Hodgkin's jaket. He kept it there, until he could go to the post office to send the letter on its way the its actual recipient.  
_I want her to be happy. I want her to live a normal life. But I don't think I can provide that for her. I don't want her to think of me as “the major” anymore. I want her to be as far away from war and orders as possible._  
When Hodgins met Gilbert for the first time after the war, he almost couldn't recognize his friend anymore. It wasn't the black eyepatch over his right eye or the prosthetic arm made of metal that changed him - it was the look in his eyes, his posture, still muscular and strong yet exhausted, and the tone of his voice. He seemed like a man, who had lost it all. And perhaps he had. Hodgins saw this pained expression only on one other person-Violet herself. Hodgins understood why his friend asked him to keep his surviving a secret. But he couldn't keep this promos any longer. Not,with his best friend being so absorbed by sadness and not with Violet being so caged by her hurt. He asked Gilbert many times to rethink his decisions but he never was able to fully reach him.  
Lost in his thought he touched the letter in his pocket. Was he overstepping a line ,if he would send her letter to him? How would he react? Would he be happy? Or would it push him down the hole further - being reminded once more of something he could not have. Hodgins excused himself from the rest and went to the post office. He was nervous, afraid even. But he had to try.

Day after day Hodgins waited. He didn't know what he was waiting for - a letter? Gilberts arivaal? Or an errand boy with a message? His head filled with so many questions and doubts. He started to regret his decision. He was relieved that Violet was working far away because he was afraid of telling her the truth. He had no idea how she would react either.  
Hodgins lowered his head into his hand. He was sitting in his office, trying to focused on his work, without success. He exhaled a deep breath. All these thoughts in his head and this nervousness and guilt! What should he do?  
**Knock Knock**  
His thought process as disturbed from a knock on his door. He thought about sending the person away, claiming that he has a lot of work to do. The Person on the other side of the door took opened the door, not waiting for a reaction. Cattleya stormed into his room with a puzzled expression on her face. She stopped right before his desk without saying a word. He hasn't lifted his head from his hands and simply looked up to her, clearly interested. The silence in the room grew heavier as different emotions flickered over her face. “G.B.”,was all she said. Hodgins,still absent, raised his brow in question and muffeld “What?” between his fingers. Anger darkened Cattleyas eyes. She threw something on his desk, a piece of paper he assumed. “G.B. as in Gilbert Bougainvillea? Violets Major?”,yelled Cattleya. Her voice was high pitched and shaking due to her anger. Hodgins breath got stuck in his throat. He wasn't able to say or do something. He only Looked at her, wide eyed. Seconds passed without them saying another word. Finally Hodgins found the courage to look at the piece of paper she threw earlier. It was a letter. On in was the address of his office and his name and the initials G.B. as the consignor. He breathed in deeply. “Is it him?”,she asked impatient. He had almost forgotten her. He only nodded, eyes still focused on Gilberts handwriting. “Why have you lied to her? How could you do that? After everything that she had to life through! She followed orders all her life, always does, what people ask of her. Always controlled by people like you! People,who make decisions about her, without asking her or even inform her about it!” She threw her fists at the table, cleary outraged. He could understand her feelings. He was feeling the same, aking himself the same questions. He straightened his back and opened his mouth. But what should he say? He closed his mouth again and watched her eyes getting watery. “She does deserve to know. She does deserve happiness. And Love.”, she almost whispered, “She finally understood what Love is! That she loves him.” She quickly lifted her hand to her face and wiped away her tears. And without another word or an explanation from him she walked out of his room and closed the door.  
Hodgins let her words seep in. She was right. Violet grew so much since he day first met her. She did understand what love is and he had no doubts in her feelings for Gilbert.  
He took Gilbert's letter with shaky hands and tried to prepare himself for every possible situation. He opened the letter and breathed in deeply to calm his nerves.  
It was barely a letter. On the piece of paper was only one sentence.

_I need to see her,Hodgins._


	2. Betrayed

Violet entered the CH postal Company. She missed it. Her friends and the building she knows so well. But she wouldn't consider it a home. Even here she was filled with an unnerving energy, unrested. “Hello Cattleya.”,she greeted the young woman. Cattleya stopped in her motion, eyes wide open.

Even Though she was constantly thinking about Violet, she was shocked to she her. Even Violet could see that something was strange. Cattleya blinked a couple times, thinking about what she should say. She and Hodgins had a very long conversation, if not argument, on the day she gave him the letter. At first, she didn't know what to think. There was a young boy, an errand boy, who simply gave her that letter, without an explanation. Later,when she was going upstairs to tell Hodgins about that odd encounter, she realised who wrote the letter. It wasn't necessary for him to confirm her suspicion. They talked and screamed and came to the conclusion,that they had no plan. They didn't know,how to tell her. Or when. Immediately? Or should they wait until they had figured out what to tell her? Now, that Violet was back, looking at Cattleya with her deep blue eyes,she almost acted out of reflex. She didn't really thought about it, just said “Violet,would you come upstairs,please? Into Hodgins office.”. Violet was concerned. Cattleyas voice was oddly high and quiet. “Of course. I will just bring my suitcase to my room,if that is okay.” Cattleya looked at the case. “Yeah,but I think you will need it again soon.” .Before Violet was able to ask, what she meant with this, Cattleya quickly walked up the stairs.

Violet felt very unsure. Was something wrong with her? Did she messed something up? She wasn't aware of any mistakes, so she assumed it must be something personal? Lost in her thoughts she walked up the stairs without greeting her colleagues. She laid the case on her bed and walked towards Hodgins office. Bute she hesitated when she heard loud voices from inside. The voices belonged to Cattleya and Hodgins himself. They argued. She couldn't really make out what they were saying, the wooden door was too thick. But they seemed angry.She knocked on the door and silenced the argument inside. Cattleya opened the door. She was visibly angry and tried to hide it behind a polite smile. When Violet entered the room,she saw that Hodgins was angry too. Until Violet met his eyes. Suddenly his expression softened and his gaze got sad. Nobody spoke and the emotions made the air thick. It was Violet,who spoke first.

“Cattleya asked me to come here.” At this, Hodgins looked irritated again and took a deep breath. Violet felt a hand on her shoulder. Cattleya was standing very close to her. Even Though Violet considered Cattleya a friend, the touch still made her feel a little uncomfortable. She simply wasn't used to physical affection. “Violet, I want you to know,that I only had the best for you in mind.Still have! I mean nothing has changed. Well actually a lot has changed and I grow to like you even more. You matured a lot. Not that you were a child before!” Violet was confused. She wasn't sure, what he was trying to tell her. He looked at Cattleya for help. “What he was trying to say is, that we really like you and only what the best for you. In the past, people made decisions about your life, but that has to change.” She now was standing in front of Violet with both hands on her shoulders. “They did,what they did because they thought it would be the best for you. Nobody wanted to hurt you.” Violet looked over Cattleyas shoulder at Hodgins, who looked sad and and pained. “I am so sorry for what we did. For what I did. I can understand if you would be angry at me. I guess I deserve that.”

Violet's head was spinning. She didn't know what they were talking about. Although there was this feeling in her gut. They couldn't mean what she was thinking,could they? “I don't understand. Please,tell me what you are talking about.” Neither Hodgins nor Cattleya knew what to say. Hodgins simply stood up from his chair behind the desk and gave Violet a letter. Violets heart was running fast. She took the letter. It was for Hodgins,written by G.B. These two letters were enough to take her breath away. Thousands of emotions were crushing over her like waves and she almost lost her balance. Her Fingers touched the writing when she saw water drops falling onto the paper. It took her a second to realise,that she was crying. She opened,scared of what was in there. The sheet of paper was almost empty, only one lonely sentence was written on it.

_I need to see her,Hodgins_.

Her? Was he talking about Violet? He wanted to see her? The room started to spin for Violet. She knew the words and was able to understand the sentence. But she wasn't able to grasp the complete meaning of it. It was everything she wanted but she knew it wasn't possible. How many times did they told her,that he was dead and would not come back. “Violet?Violet?” Cattleyas voice interrupted Violets thoughts. She was able to focus again.

“He is alive. Major Gilbert is alive.” Violets voice grew louder and louder with every word. A sudden wave of anger hit her. “You lied to me! You knew how much he means to me. Why did you lie?” Tears blurred Violets vision. She felt outraged. She wanted to throw things, to break things. “He asked me to. He wanted me to keep you safe after war. To give you a normal life. I was trying to convince him to meet you. But i never was able to reach him. But you did! I sent him your letter. And then i got this.” Hodgins tried to explain it as calm as possible. Cattleya couldn't look at Violet. Violets being almost vibrated because of her sadness. Her rage. Violet felt so betrayed. And confused. The major did this to her? Did he knew what hell he put her through? “I need to see him. Now. I have to go.” The tears were falling down her face, her voice broke. She was desperate to see him.


	3. train ride

Hodgins brought Violet to the train station. Cattleya had to convince Violett to pack a suitcase, Violet was restless. She didn't want to waste any time. Hodgins put some money in her bag, without Violet noticing. They didn't talked about how long Violet would be gone, so he made sure she had at least some money to take care of her.   
The ride to the was quiet. Nobody said a word. Both, Hodgins and Violet were to caught up in their own thoughts.   
“I wish you only the very best,Violet. I care for you and I consider you as one of my friends. If you can,please forgive me.”,said Hodgins while waiting for the train to arrive. Violet looked at him. He could see how unsure she was. She felt so much. She wasn't used to that. “I will try to forgive you. You only had good intentions and you also are a friend of mine.”, her voice was steady as always. The train finally arrived. They nodded at each other, a simple good-bye and then Violet entered the train. Hodgins made sure to watch the train leave and sent a quick prayer to above, that Violet and his friend may finally find peace and happiness through each other.   
Violet sat in a cabin, looking out of the window. She was alone, with her suitcase being next to her on the narrow bench. Her gaze was far ways, just as her thoughts. These emotions where new. The betrayal. The despair. But also the happiness. She felt these emotions before but never allowed herself to feel them to their full extend. She had other things to focus on. Her orders,war or now her job. But things changed in her. She became less and less the weapon that people used to see in her and more to human she really is. She is a young woman. And she has feelings just as every other person. It took her awhile to realise that. And now she needs to learn how to act on them,how to understand them. She was highly intelligent and learned pretty quick. Yet nobody really taught her about feelings or how to live with them. Because it was difficult! All these emotions made her feel stuck. She wasn't able to do anything else other than to focus on them or to overthink them. They made her feel not like herself.   
Suddenly Violet found herself annoyed by a consistent Thud thud thud. She looked around the cabin only to realise, that the sound was coming from her. Her foot actually. She bumped her foot against the wooden floor in a nervous manner. Violet frowned over that. She never has been the nervous type. And she certainly never t´had habits like that. What was happening with her?  
Violet grew more and more impatient. She would arrive in a hour. She had no clue what to expect. Or what to say. Violet closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to collect herself.   
The train arrived at her destination. She wasted no time and took her suitcase quickly. Outside waited multiple carriages to transport the people from the train into the city. Violet took the closest one and gave the coachman the Majors address. Her heart was beating louder by the minute, what was she supposed to say?   
“Alright little one,we are here. That would be-”,before the older man could say how much money Violet should give him,she handed him a couple of coins, surle more than enough. She took her case and jumped out of the carriage. Now she was standing outside of a larger house. It wasn't as posh or intimidating as a mansion but larger than a normal house. She knew it was the right address,she could feel it. But the house seemed cold, it lacked the living aura that most houses had. Violet approached the front door and knocked. Now her heart was thundering in her ears, she felt as if she would explode. The tension was just unbearable.   
An older lady in maid clothing opened the door and looked questionly at Violet. “What can I do for you,Miss?”  
“I would like to see the Major. Major Gilbert Bougainvillea.” Violet was out of breath. Hurried and incredibly nervous. “Of course”,the lady stepped aside to let Violet in. “We aren't prepared for visitors,he usually has many. What is your name?” The lady helped Violet out of her coat. Violet tried to be polite and calm even though everything inside her told her to go and find the Major. “My name is Violet Evergarden. I usually work as an auto memories doll.” The expression in the older womans face froze. “Violet,did you say?”. She nodded. The maid had heard her name? “Oh dear”,she took Violets hands in hers and looked at her. The older womans features were soft now and held a certain kind of sadness in them. She was small, almost a head smaller than Violet, but heavier build than her. She seemed to have a motherly aura. “I will bring you upstairs. Let your case here, I will take care of that later.”. The woman walked upstairs and throughout the way, Violet could feel the woman's gaze upon her. Violet wondered, if anyone else was able to hear her heart. They stopped in front of a wooden door. “He is in there. I will take your case into one of the guest bedrooms, yours is on the second floor, the first door at the right.” Violet nodded without really listening. The maid left and let Violet alone. Suddenöly Violet felt very hot. Something stopped her from opening the door. It was the feeling of rejection,that was bubbling up inside of her. He sent her away. Away from him. He wanted to make her think, that he died.   
Violet shook her head as if to shake away the thoughts. No, he wanted to see her. He asked for it in the letter. He didn't abandoned her. He gave her to Hodgins, hoping that this would make her happy.   
She tried to calm herself and reached out for the door handle. The cold metal made it real, somehow. It wasn't just a dream. She opened the door, heart and emotions racing.   
He looked up at fer from the papers on his desk. The room was dark, due to the furniture made out of dark,rich wood. He was sitting at his desk wearing his uniform.   
Time stopped. They looked at each other, neither of them dared to breath. He wore a black eye patch over his right eye and one of his hands is gloved,to hide a prosthetic,Violet assumed. His hair looked a bit longer than she remembered. But his eyes. They were still the vibrant and breathtaking green.


	4. Starting new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very quick: I just realised, that Violet is underage ( i believe they said she is 14 in the show? Correct me,if Im wrong). So just pretend,that Violet is 18? I never intended to write anything inappropriate (age wise)

He couldn't believe his eyes. When he got her letter,he felt something. Something,he hasn't felt in a long time - a warmth. She missed him. And even though he wished he was the person, who would have teached her the meaning of love, he is happy that she understands it now. He read her letter multiple times a time, his fingers ghosting over her writhing. His response was short,but he knew that there were no words to show how urgent is was. Hodgins never responded,he took that as a bad sign. He tried to swallow his sorrow, like he did throughout the last years, but he changed. This letter alone changed him. It showed him what he could have and how happy he could be. How happy she could be. He couldn't concentrate after that, his thoughts were in a parallel universe where he and Violet could live safe and sound. Without war or other people treating her like a weapon.   
And then the door opened. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She always has been beautiful,but now she is grown into a young woman,fitting her name. She looked so delicate and fragile, although he knew that she was strong. But her small,petite body,those large, deep blue eyes,they made her seem so much like a porcelain doll. She wore her hair in two buns on the back of her head and some lose strands were framing her face. His hearted warmed up. She always had these stray strands.   
Time passed without them talking or moving, they simply observed each other. While Gilbert felt like his heart just started to beating, after hiding for so long, Violet could feel her heart stop, overcome from so many emotions. Her vision blurred and after blinking, she felt hot tears streaming down her face. That seemed to wake Gilbert up, he quickly rose from his chair and hurried to Violet. He reached his hand out as to touch her, but something was stopping him. What if she was too angry at him?What if she didn't wanted this? Whatever ‘this’ is or will be. Violet surprised him by crashing into him. She was holding the front of his uniform in her tiny hand and hold it as tight as she could,burying her face into his chest and leaving wet stains from her tears. He laid his arms around her and hold onto her. He laid his face on the top of her head, breathing in her sweet scent.he couldn't hold back some tears either.   
They held each other until Violets breath evened out and the tears stopped. The sun was going down and left the room in soft,warm light,making Violets her gleam golden. They both were overcome with a sudden feeling of peace. It felt right to be together for them.   
“I am so incredibly sorry Violet. Please know,that I only want you to live your life to the fullest and to be as happy as possible. I just thought that...that this would mean we would have to separate.” he whispered. Violet soaked in the sound of his voice. Oh,how she missed that. He rubbed his cheek on her hair. “Please,forgive me.” And with that, all the anger Violet had felt vanished. She want sure,how this was possible, to have a emotion eating you up and with just a couple words,the flames stilled. Sure,the flames still left scars,wounds. But time will heal it. And Violet knew that she can survive everything,as long as she felt like she would have a purpose, something to do or people to come home to.   
Coming home.   
That also was what Gilbert was feeling.   
Violet lifted her head and looked im in his eyes. Breathtaking. A word she could only use of him. “Just promise me to not send me away ever again.” He lifted one of his hands to her cheek,barely touching her. After today,he won't be able to let her go.”I promise.” Violet let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding. She studied his face. He looked like he hadn't a proper night of sleep in months. He looked exhausted. She normally only knew him as the strong,calm and clean shaven Major but he changed, subtle, but she noticed it.   
Suddenly someone was knocking on the door. Although it was soft, Gilbert flinched. When he was looking into Violets eyes,it was easy to forget that there was a world surrounding them,that it wasn't just her and him. “Come in.”,said Gilbert. Violet noticed a change in his voice. He didn't sound impolite or harsh,but the way he was speaking to her was way softer, more gentle and warm.   
The elderly maid entered the room. “Colonel Gilbert, please excuse the interruption.I am here to inform you,that dinner is ready.” “Thank you, Bertha.” With another nod, she left the room. He squeezed her one more time before he took her hand and leaded her downstairs to the dining room. Her hand felt so tiny and fragile in his. Her cold fingers intertwined themselves with his warm ones. It just felt natural for them.   
They didn't talked much during dinner. They sat in front of each other, and exchanged looks and touches, as if to make sure, that this wasn't just some wild dream.   
When they finished, the maid,Bertha,cleaned after them. Gilbert took Violets hand again and they walked outside, into the garden.  
It was dark, the only light was coming from the stars and the moon. But even that seemed brighter,now,that they could experience it together. He lead them to a small bench.   
Violet looked around. She realised, that there were a lot of small, purple flowers in his garden. Patches of violets were everywhere. There also were other small flowers with blue petals. The blue was the same tone as her eyes were. Violet was deeply touched by this,knowing,that this wasn't just coincidence. “Tell me. What happened after war.” She turned to him. She knew,that Hodgins wrote about her in his letters to him and that they talked about her. But he wanted to hear her story from herself. “I was very confused when I waked up. You werent there and I didnt knew where I was.”,she stared to tell him about her time at the CH postal office,about her friends and clients that later became friends too. About her search for the meaning of love and about for the first time ever she talked about with emotion. It wasn't just a report. She told him how she felt. He listened to her, never interrupting. His expression changed, when her story became more sad or happy.He was focused on her and her voice. A voice, that was more like music to him. Her rhythm and sound was captivating and he could listen to her for hours.   
“And them I took the next train and drove here. Almost dizzy from all the different feelings.”,she ended her story. She liked to talk to him,she never realised,that it was nice to have someone who would listen to you. “What about you? What did you do after we seperated?” He looked away. He wasn't sure,if he should tell her everything. There had been dark times. He never had been depressed or even suicidal but there had been times, where he wanted to end his life. Only now he understood , that he didn't wanted to kill himself. He just didn't wanted to live like that anymore. Luckily,he wouldn't have to,now that he has Violet with him again. He looked at her again,she was patiently waiting for him. He would tell her about those times,later. “I'm afraid my story isn't quite as exciting as yours. After war I took a break. I struggled with my arm and my eye. I tried to resocialise but it didn't worked out.I wasn't the same anymore. War changed me but losing you was the thing I couldn't get over. And then I bought this house. But I have never been able to make it my home. I found myself in the military once again. It is time consuming and something I seem to be good at. I became a Colonel pretty quick. But that and everything else felt just..not right. It felt numb and like I was missing something. I knew,that you are that something but I swore to myself to let you live your life as a normal girl. But when your letter came...I felt something again. And I knew I had to see you again. But I wasn't sure if you would really want that so I waited for a response from Hodgins. It never came so i assumed that you were too angry to actually see me again. When you came into my room I almost couldn't believe it.” Their hands were still linked and rested on the bench between them. It must have been pretty late at night. “Let's go back inside. I will show you your room.” He didn't wanted to be seperated from her again but he knew,that she needed to sleep. Not,that she looked tired or made any comments about that, she was,after all, ‘well trained’. He wanted to take care of her. To made sure,that she would sleep and eat enough. They walked through the garden and he noticed how violet looked at the flowers. When he bought the house, the garden was neglected. The former owner never cared about flowers. And he didn't either,until the thought of planting violets came into his mind. He filled his garden with them and some blue ones that remind him of her eyes.   
He knew which bedroom bertha gave to her. The blue one,with the white furniture. It suited her the best.   
“Goodnight…”,Violet hesitant,unsure how to address him now.  
“Gilbert,please.” Violet gave him a small smile. He never really saw her smiling. Although the corners of her mouth were barely lifted, his heart jumped and his breathing stopped. He would never get over her beauty.   
“Goodnight,Gilbert. Sleep well.”  
“Goodnight,Violet.”,he brushed over her knuckles before letting her hand go.


	5. late at night

Violet was left with a spinning head. Positively spinning, if such a thing exists. It felt to good to be true. He missed her. He hold her. He planted violets in his garden. He liked her.  
She was trying to breath even but she felt as if her heart swell up into her chest, leaving no place for air. Only for the warm feeling that was filling her up. “Gilbert.”,she said again,testing out his name. She liked saying it,liked how it felt and sounded. She made herself ready for bed, thinking about how he felt in her arms,under her fingers. How he smelled. She never liked being touched before. But now she was craving for his hands,even if she didn't understand what that meant. She also never enjoy the smell of somebody. Sure,there were people who had a pleasant smell,but he was intoxicating. She forced herself to think of something else,when she started to feel an unknown feeling in her stomach. Or below? She couldn't quite make out where that mysterious feeling came from,she only knew that it was connected to Gilbert. She focused on her breathing.  
Gilbert was only a couple doors down the hallway. He was sitting on his bed,candles were lighting the room softly. His heart did not stopped beating insanely fast. All he could think about was Violet. How beautifly angelic she looks. How she moved with so much grace. How she felt in his arms. So warm and soft. How her voice sounded, especially when she said his name. From her it sounded like music. The longer he thought about her, the more it affected him,physically. He couldn't ignore the twitching in his lower region anymore. He undressed himself and laid down. He hasn't touched himself that way in so long. He simply had no desire to do so. But now, after spending so much time with Violet and with her scent still in his nose,he started to grasp his hand around his erection. He thought of her. Of her lips and how they moved,when she talked or what he would like to do with them. He thought about the way she felt in his arms, her warm,small body pressed against his and her hands,how they hold onto him. He wanted to worship her,pleasure her and make her feel good. He wanted to taste her lips and caress her body. He assumed,that she had no sexual experience. He started to picture himself,showing Violet how to kiss. He showed her,how good it felt to be touched. He thought about kissing his way down on her,from her mouth,to her neck,lower on her breasts and then lower again. He orgasemed at this thought,spilling all over his stomach and hand. He cleaned himself and laid down to sleep. He felt slightly guilty thinking of Violet that way. She was so innocent, at least at this subject. Oh,how much he wanted to show her,he thought to himself. But what if she doesn't like him like this? What if she doesn't desire him? He raised her,kind of. And then he left her. He knew,that she liked him,missed him and probably even loved him. But he knew,that love had a lot of different ways. One could love another as a friend or the way someone loves their family. Love doesn't always imply a romantic interest. He started to doubt himself and his feelings. He was aware,that some people would consider his feelings for Violet inappropriate. But the love he felt for her was always pure. This was the first time he had sexually desired her.   
He rolled himself fromm one side to another while Violet was already sound asleep in her room. She was exhausted,mentally. But even though she was exhausted,strange dreams started to form in her head. In these dreams Gilbert was touching her, kissing her. She had his strange feeling again. She didn't understood,what she was dreaming about or what she was longing for.   
But she would figure it out.


	6. morning

Violet was awake,but she had her eyes still closed. Was it a dream? Was she really by Gilbert? She peaked through one of her eyes and looked at the unfamiliar room. She was really here. Her heart jumped and she wasn't able to stop the smile that started to form on her face. She stood up and started to get ready. It was still very early, the sun has still hanging low on the sky,but she is trained to be an early riser, something she is not mad about. She liked mornings. She usually was the first to be awake so she had some time alone. She like the possibilities that a morning was bringing,like a fresh sheet of paper. Full of opportunities and still calm.   
She sat down in front of the large window,it was from the floor all the way up to the ceiling. It offered her a great view over the garden. The golden light made the flowers glow and the little drops of morning dew looked like liquid gold. It was beautiful. She sat there,admiring the sunrise until she heard noises coming from outside. It sounded like the maids started to prepare for the day. Violet got up and walked downstairs,following the noise. It was leading her into the kitchen. Two maids,the one she met yesterday,Bertha, and another one were drinking tea and preparing breakfast. The second one was younger, just a few years older than her. She had blonde hair,but a different tone than Violet. Darker and when the sunlight was catching it in a certain way,it had a unique red tone. The younger one was pretty, with freckles all over of face and light brown eyes. “Good morning.”,said Violet. The two jumped at that, not expecting the young lady to already be awake. “Good morning Violet,did you sleep well?”,Bertha asked. She had this motherly aura, a warmth,the younger one was lacking. “Yes,thank you. Do you need help? Since I am already awake I can just as well do something useful.” Bertha's smile widened. She heard alot about Violet. Not from the Colonel himself, she avoided asking about his past,since that always made him sad. But sometimes,when Mr Hodgins was visiting him she couldn't resist to eavesdrop. From what she heard,she knew that the Colonel,Mr Hodgins and Violet once where in the military. She was shocked to hear,that a small child was permitted to fight and even considered to be a special weapon.From what Bertha heard, the Colonel loved Violet. It which way,Bertha was unsure. But the way he talked about her showed just how deeply he loved her and after seeing her,she could understand. Sure,she was a great beauty. The doll like girl,that moved so graceful and seemed to be highly intelligent. But there was something about her, a certain presens. She liked Violet and wanted her to feel welcomed. Especially after seeing how the Colonel melted when he was around her. She was always able to see the warmth in his eyes and he always was polite. But with Violet he seemed to be happier,warmer. She was what he needed,it was obvious.   
“No,thank you. We are almost done.”,said the younger maid. Bertha looked at her scoolding but Violet didn't seemed to mind. “Okay,but tell me if you need my help with something.”,with that Violet turned to leave the room again,she headed outside into the garden,sitting on the bench she sat yesterday with Gilbert.   
“Is there a problem,Jin?”,Bertha asked. Jin avoided Berthas eyes and continued to cook breakfast. “No,why do you ask?”,Jin always has been a terrible liar. Her emotion are always written on her face. “Jin, Violet makes him happy. And she appears to be nice. There is no reason to be rude to her.”,Bertha reminded the younger maid. Jin clenched her teeth together and looked at the older woman. Bertha knew,what Jin was trying to remind her. Jin and the Colonel met in a village, a few years ago. They slept together once, a result of too much wine and loneliness. After that, Jin fell in love with him,although he tried to tell her,that he didn't had similar feelings. Jin quitted her job and the Colonel offered her an employment as a maid. Despite that one night, he never showed a special interest in her, but Jin was stuck with the illusion,that she could make him fall in love with her, if they only would spend enough time together.   
But Jin had to face reality,he never deserved her and he offered her this work out of pity.   
“Violet makes him happy. Whatever you and the Colonel had or hadn't: it doesn't matter. Please stop chasing after him,dear.” Jin did not responded to that,she only looked away and started to work again. For her it felt like never ending heartbreak.   
Violet sat outside,soaking in the sunlight. She felt watched,she looked around,searching for someone. And then she saw him, Gilbert was standing,his shirt not fully buttoned up ,in front of his window. He saw her walking outside, her hair was reflecting the sunlight and created a halo around her- she was breathtakingly beautiful. Even when she sat down she had a sense of grace around her that made it impossible for him to look away. She smiled up to him and gave him a small wave. He returned that gesture.  
He could get used to that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!Thank you all so much for the lovely feedback. I have not forgotten about this fic and i'd love to continue but i'm not really happy with this story and i'm thinking about starting over? or maybe delete a few chapters? I would love to hear your opinion about! Should i keep the story going and look,where it will take us, should i delete a few chapters and make a few changes or should i start all over again?  
> Thank you guys :)

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